Reflections from Riding in the Hearse

An important part of my calling as a pastor is presiding over funerals for parishioners and sometimes their family members who do not have a church home.  The journey from the church or funeral home to the cemetery is oftentimes a difficult ride for the family of the deceased.  This is the last ride they will take with their loved one.  People are often anxious during this time as they struggle with feelings of sadness, grief, and sometimes despair.

I typically ride in the hearse (carriage) on the way to the cemetery.  I have noticed a distressing trend over the course of the past several years with the general population showing an appalling lack of respect for the deceased and their loved ones riding in the funeral caravan.  It used to be considered common courtesy for drivers to pull off to the side of the road to allow the funeral procession to pass.  Pedestrians on the sidewalks and in driveways would stop what they were doing and stand still as a sign of respect to the deceased and their family and gentlemen would tip their hats as a show of courtesy.

It is not uncommon today for drivers outside of the funeral procession to become very impatient at the slow speed of the caravan and wedge themselves into the entourage. I recently witnessed an angry driver pass the limousine that the family was riding in and fall in behind the hearse that I was in.  I was incensed.  The driver of the hearse told me that this has become commonplace over the past few years.

I began to wonder if we have become the kind of nation, the kind of people, who place our hurried lives and road rage over the care and respect for a grieving family.  Here is a link to an article from The Independent written a few years ago addressing this very issue:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/the-death-of-funeral-etiquette-2372040.html

Please everyone, if you encounter a funeral procession in the coming days while you are driving, take a deep breath and try not to get angry with the family that is traveling to the cemetery to say their final good by's to a loved one.  If you are walking down the sidewalk, working in your yard, or perhaps sitting on a chair in your driveway, take a moment to pause and show some respect and civility to the family that is grieving.  Gentlemen, if you are wearing a cap, take it off your head and tip it to the family.

This simple courtesy goes a long way in ministering to a family that is struggling with the loss of a loved one.

Grace and peace,
Mark